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If you are told on a daily basis that people who look like you are unattractive and undeserving of love, a natural reaction would be to seek out that which is being denied to you as a form of validation of self-worth.
To determine whether a love interest is a result of internalized racism would be near to impossible. No-one is suggesting that we are post-racial (words that should have you flogged) but maybe it’s just not that deep.
Of course, it’s not us versus them, but it’s easy to fall into dream-like states of a back race with beautiful power couples en masse.
However, in the search of #wokebae, does he even need to be black?
When I hear a non-black person say they are not attracted to black women “as a personal preference” it is hard not to take this as a personal blow and an attack on my race at large.How can one possibly answer whether black men are more or less appreciative of black women, without interviewing thousands of black men and women?What I do know is that, as black women, we have to convince ourselves that we are beautiful 10 times before we even leave the house.When we sit around with friends and lament that “there are no black men around,” maybe we should be saying “there are no black men around who are attracted to us.” Again, something empowering about being rejected by your own race.The number of dating sites matching white men with black women seems unnerving to me.