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If you think it might be helpful to discuss these issues at greater length with a member of our staff, we’d like to invite you to call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department.Our counselors would be happy to come alongside you in any way they can.Naturally, we’d be in a much better position to comment if we had some more detailed information about your family.We’d like to know, for instance, how far “past 18” your daughter is and whether she’s living at home or on her own.Now that our son is past eighteen, should he still obey us?
If he attends church, it should be because because he’s adhering to a curfew.You need to be able to say, “As you approach adulthood, here’s what changes and here’s what stays the same.” Above all, resist the temptation to manipulate or control.You’re free to make as many rules as you like, but make sure they are reasonable and deal with significant issues.Whether or not he takes immediate advantage of the opportunity, he has the right to leave home and make his own way in the world.Very soon, if not already, his personal decisions will have to be something more than a matter of simple “submission” to Mom’s and Dad’s injunctions.
Does this mean that he has the prerogative to adopt a dismissive attitude toward you or to disparage your values and opinions? As Christians, we know that there is as his parents but as fellow human beings and as his brother and sister in Christ (Ephesians ; Philippians 2:3; I Peter 5:5).