Dating someone who is poor
Loving someone may come naturally to you, but you never knew what you signed up for — neither of you did.It’s a strange life, being a working-class person dating an upper-class one.It can be easier to smile and nod than fight every battle. It’s not just because you’re enjoying it, which of course, comes into play too.There’s simply a lot of strain in placating a person who means well but doesn’t quite get it.“I’ve never actually dated someone who hasn’t been working class,” says Hugo, who is upper class.“They’re just people I gravitate to because I don’t feel as though I have so much in common with people of my own class.“It’s weird to even discuss because class is both so charged and so hard to define, but while through school and university I’ve got lots of posh friends, close ones, I’ve never felt my goals or romantic ambitions have ever been met by posh women,” he adds. There’s a bit of heat on your face when they correct the way you hold your chopsticks.I quickly stopped mentioning the name of my town school as it was met with looks of confusion, and started referring to it vaguely as ‘oh I just went to my local school’.“Once, when I met a particularly wealthy friend’s parents, he even suggested I didn’t mention I wasn’t privately educated.Heaven forbid they thought he associated himself with a lesser person,” she says.
One boyfriend seemed surprised that I didn’t live in a “hovel”.You’re stiff in the outfit you picked out, but it was the right thing to wear, you think.Maybe your hand is clasped in someone else’s, maybe they’re already mingling with people in the vibrant folds of the room — their art form. The life you have read about is your own for just one minute.It’s a different world, it’s a different life, and so many of us have to fold our identities into it, in spite of ourselves. Of course, being upper class, or even middle class, isn’t just about money.It’s a mode of learning and culture that dominates how we operate as a society.
With that, the education of the upper classes is celebrated, honoured, and pushed to the forefront of the way we understand the world — what we deem the “correct” and “proper” way of doing things.