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As liberal as your partner and community are, there is much to be said about the decades of internalized racism that his/her parents might harvest.In this article about meeting the parents when you are in an interracial relationship, David Schiller gives some good tips, like pretending that you like all the food and refraining from mentioning race at all. Even if you think your family is totally cool and not the least bit racist, it might still come as a surprise when you show up for dinner with a person from ___ race. Some of these questions might be well intentioned, but ignorant and painful nonetheless.If you try to ignore all of these differences and say that “race doesn’t matter”, then you are setting yourself up for a big shock.However, if you can embrace these differences, then your romance can flourish. Fetish assumes that you are turned on by certain characteristics or things, such as people with a fetish for pantyhose or scat or whatever. It is a bit difficult to define the difference between a fetish and attraction.However, if the relationship is strong, then the hardships can actually make the couple grow closer together.Couples in an interracial relationship face hurdles right from the get-go.“He was a white guy who was 19, and he would not let it go! Instead of shunning the curious stranger, they talked to him, and “it turned out that he had just started dating a black woman and was excited to see [our relationship] was working.It was goofy, awkward, immature, but it came from a genuine place.” You never know.
You might have to adjust your relationship to avoid the discomfort and general displeasure of society.A fetish is purely sexual and the person will be attracted to ALL people of that race/appearance regardless of the person.By comparison, attraction is often just the spark which initiates a romance. If they don’t think your interracial relationship is based on a fetish, they might think it is a status thing, or a “come up.”This is most seen in interracial relationships with white women and black men.You might not have a bit of racism in you, and your reasons for dating the man/woman of your dreams has nothing to do with race at all. Be prepared for the stares, stupid comments, and maybe even violence (thankfully, this doesn’t occur often anymore in Western countries).You two will have to do your best not to let the racism of other people interfere with your relationship.
Couples often face hurdles or “rough spots,” such as money problems, disease, employment troubles, and so forth.