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A situation where you begin to feel like the person has no life other than you can sometimes feel like a lot of pressure.
Overall, the message here is enjoy what you are experiencing in the early stages of a relationship, enjoy being with someone new and enjoy getting to know someone else and what they have to offer you when it enhances your life experience.
At the same time, it is important to be aware that you are in a state of arousal, primed for excitement and full of hope so caution and reality checking is always important to keep things in perspective.
For clients I see who are navigating the first six months of a relationship I always encourage them to consider and be aware of the following six things to keep them on track and in contact with the realities of the situation and, importantly, to ensure they are attending to their individual needs and not getting locked into attending only to the needs of the ‘other’.
During the first six months you would invite your partner to your house, they’d say “Oh Babe, I love coming to your house,” and you would light candles. Those first six months of a relationship should always be the way I’m describing. What happens in those first six months are the reasons why you fell in love with that other person in the first place — the things you used to do for them, the way you came onto them sexually, the way you listened and the way you were patient with them. Say that you and your partner touch each other nonstop during the first six months, then your partner stops touching you as much. For those of you in that post-six months frustration period, however, what you need to do is to go back and think about all the things you did for your lover in the first six months.
While it is both enjoyable and important to the foundation of your relationship you do need to let trusted family and friends into your bubble because they can help play an objective role and offer her or his feedback about what this person is going to be like down the track when you start seeing them more clearly.
And, importantly, remember that while enjoying it all that you shouldn’t lose sight of what’s real.
Make sure you ask questions that need to be asked, check about what is real and notice any inconsistencies that says this is not the relationship for me.
If you are with someone who still wants to date for a few more years before settling down and for you, commitment is at the top of the immediate agenda, then this may not be the right relationships for you.
It’s easy in the beginning of a relationship to get so caught up in what feels so good and special that important questions don’t get asked.
What this means is that you need to be able to separate what is feeling “so good” in a way that allows you to determine whether the prospective love interest is able to be separate enough from you.