Dating after death of spouse with children
Before we judge this-we do not know the circumstances-had she been sick for many years? Of course, for the children, those circumstances have little or no bearing on their own grief process.Whether a parent was sick for years or was in a horrific marriage doesn’t enter the adult child’s grief process at all.What is meant when an adult child steadfastly maintains, “I am not ready” to meet your new love?Does this mean they are not ‘ready’ to see their parent remarry or they aren’t ‘ready’ to see their parent date?I have expressed how hurt this makes me feel to my partner. Should my partner continue to keep me from attending his family events where everyone else will be present at, just because one of his married children ‘isn’t ready yet”?
Perhaps there are other issues here that are being defined as “ready”-sometimes adult children worry about their parent’s finances/ their inheritance or are threatened that the new person will ”take away” the surviving parent’s affection and attention, especially if the new partner has children of her own.
Without knowing the details, it does seem in Babs’ case, patience is paramount if there is to be any hope of a future relationship between Babs and her new partner’s children.
It is still a relatively short time since the loss and these are young adults still trying to find their own place in a world that now has profoundly changed.
Then this from Marianne: I have been seeing a widower for 2 years now.
We have a very nice, comfortable, trusting relationship.
However, this information is as relevant for men dating widows.