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I suspect every woman who has experienced online dating for any amount of time has run into this. You can’t tell by his profile or his pictures or his job or his vocabulary. If you’re lucky, it’s really quickly so you don’t waste a lot of time on him. Texting, messaging, and/or calling for weeks before he makes his request. I share it for my friends like Vanessa Torre and for those of you who have experienced this, too. If you want to ask for a harmless photo of a woman, be very gentle! I appreciate that concern, but hopefully I have provided some insight into how delicate the subject is.
I’d guess that about 1/4 to 1/3 of guys I interact with end up asking me. I share this for those who are considering entering the online dating realm. And, finally, I write this story so that the good (and mostly good) guys out there understand how frequently this happens. When you ask a woman for a photo, give her the benefit of the doubt if she declines. Don’t ask for it before you’ve interacted for a bit. Bonnie was off the dating market from 1998 (when she met her now ex-husband) till early 2014.
I should have realized he was disingenuous but I opted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Nevermind that I have 6 (on Bumble) and at least 10 (on Match).
Or try to understand what it’s like being a woman in today’s dating realm. Instead he twists his request around on me, proclaiming that he wasn’t asking for anything more than a harmless photo.
Dance clubs and dive bars may have worked in the '90s, but now, even if you’re out, your phone is a much easier way to find someone to "watch Netflix and chill" with (especially someone you won’t regret tomorrow).
There are ubiquitous stories about the horror that is the dick pic. Because I refused to send a photo he requested, I am nothing to him. Fortunately, I’d been dating so long by that point, I got a little angry but wasn’t impacted too much more than that.
With half of all single people now using some of the best online dating sites to find love (or at least quick, no strings sex – hello, Tinder), long gone are the days when Internet dating was seen as embarrassing or cringe-worthy.
Tinder has been called the harbinger of the hookup-fuelled "dating apocalypse." But the truth of the matter is, hooking up isn't anything new (and may in fact be hardwired into our genetics).
And as for Tinder, sure, it can be used for swiftly finding a one-night stand, but there are If your life is too busy to squeeze in the time-consuming intricacies of a longer-term relationship, or you're just looking for a little low-stakes fun tonight, you need a quick, surefire way to find a quality fling.
Heck, I’ve shared my own tale about the guy who sent me #notquiteadickpic and what transpired over the next few days. If that had happened a few years ago, I would have been devastated and taken it so personally! That’s being prudent and establishing appropriate boundaries!
But after reading the latest by my friend, the always biting and insightful Vanessa Torre, I knew it was time to share my thoughts on this less discussed picture. It is very specific: the photo should be of her naked body or partially naked body. (Face probably unwanted, actually.)If a woman declines to provide this photo, she is going to get a slew of responses that range from the following:~Complete ghosting. I don’t think my story is going to change the behavior of guys who ask for these photos. It’s a big deal to be asking a woman for her photos, especially when she already has several up on her profile. Final note: I know that guys worry about catfishing so asking for a photo can be a method to avoid that.
These are the four words that every woman dreads: Unlike the dick pic, women aren’t sending unsolicited photos of their naked or partially naked bodies to random dudes.(Well, scammers do it relentlessly. When this issue crops up, remember that it’s okay to say “no.”But also be prepared that you will probably be ignored or attacked. Don’t give her a hard time or call her names or downplay it. She has been online dating on-and-off for almost 5 years.