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Explains Quilliam: "If your husband is showing signs of disinterest, it means that he's no longer engaged emotionally — and you're not likely to ever resolve the issue you're arguing about." Ways to send a more loving message If you want to resolve an argument, your body language has to say, "I love you, and I'm listening." Start by taking a few deep breaths. "Align your body with your husband's, drop your arms, lean toward him and nod your head. This is especially important when you're trying to reach an agreement. Resnick, "the deal isn't sealed." Should his body language grow aggressive, Resnick suggests you gently lay a hand on his arm, look into his eyes and say, "I really wish we weren't arguing." Don't underestimate the power of this gesture.
"This gives you a moment to make sure your body is sending the right message," explains Dr. Many men respond aggressively when they feel anxious, threatened or afraid.
We love each other, so let's resolve this now." Warning signals Certain types of body language indicate problems that go beyond the issue at hand.
"If your husband is baring his teeth or jabbing his finger at your chest, he may be unconsciously trying to threaten you into submission — even if he doesn't actually touch you," says Dr. Be wary, too, if he's turning his body away, wearing a glazed expression or darting his eyes around the room.
You may still be sitting together, but if you're only halfway through your chicken breast and he's already on his tea and biscotti, the much-desired synchronicity — a mirroring of movements observed in happy couples — is nowhere to be found. If you're at opposite ends of a long table, you may be in conflict over who's the boss, if only on a subconscious level, says Fast. If your spouse is on one side and your baby is in a high chair on the other, you're going to be spending most of the meal with your back turned to your husband.
Ways to send a more loving message To change the dinnertime dynamic, change your seat.
All of those signals mean he has stopped listening and started planning his escape from the dialogue.
Just as damaging are the more subtle signs of disapproval that many spouses display.
"Their bodies tend to face away from each other," comments Fast."They're the ones sitting side-by-side or catty-corner, maintaining their closeness even if several kids are also at the table." If the table is small enough, sitting across from each other can also be intimate.And no matter how hectic dinner is, the couple continually acknowledges each other's presence with a glance, a smile and what experts call an "eyebrow flash," which Martin Lloyd-Elliott, author of , defines as "a spontaneous signal of positive recognition." He adds, "If you don't flash the other person, he may feel bad without even knowing why." Warning signals Take a look at your paces.Move the high chair so that the baby is between you; this way you can feed her and look at your husband at the same time.And be sure to catch your husband's eye and smile every few minutes. Resnick, "When you first sit down, connect with a moment that's just for the two of you.